Average Reviews:
(More customer reviews)If you buy one IR nonfiction book this year, this would be the one.
The research covers focus groups and interviews. The research author interviews about 12-15 black-white couples, introduced as all having minimum criteria of having been in a committed relationship of at least 2 years, some married for twenty-something years. Further into the book, though, there is a couple who were together 1 year. The couples are mostly white women and black males. To keep track of which couple is which, refer to the back of the book where there's an interview transcript of couples with self-reported stats.
Thought-provoking focus groups, deconstruction, and comparative research on black-white couples, black communities, white communities, race, identity, social constructs of race, and racial boundary maintenance by individuals/society;includes address to web porn.
Each section can be read independently, as the research author restates the back up to the hypothesis. Basically, couples were were 'colorblind' were colorblind together, adopting shared visions of coping, etc., and couples who were 'color conscious' or a mixture, did so as an agreed method to cope, either implicitly or explicitly withing their relationship with their partner. Like most relationships, they were of like mind. There wasn't a couple who was all about color consciousness from one of the partners, while the other adopted a color blind approach. Would guess that this like-minded orientation was an element of their getting together in the first place as opposed to getting into a relationship with someone who conflicted with their own ways of thinking. Or better yet, kept them beyond 1 or 2 years with that person.
Interestingly enough, the author who self identified as a white woman who was formerly with a black male, and now the parent of biracial children, was pretty analytical about communities and people 'coding' prejudice and racism, whether black or white, focusing readers' attention on not just what was said, but the context and how it was said. A lot of doublespeak that she cut through after her interviews with groups was aired out. The author rarely interrogated much her subjects, because the research was basically about people airing their thoughts and feelings, without being confronted of potential bias. A particularly strong point that still resonates is the idea that communities and individual said that IR couples would have problems (ostensibly that non-IR couples never have problems, for instance because they're different--a woman and a man having sexism issues). IR relationships don't work because 'others' and 'society' would mistreat them and their children. The children would be confused about their identities, feel like they didn't fit in. The author points out that in each excuse why someone said IR was a bad idea and that society would mistreat them, was the failure to recognize that the speaker was excluding themselves when they already said they had a problem with IR couples. That they were in fact the 'society' doing this to IR couples. Yet excusing themselves from culpability of any kind.
There's a lot of material to mull over. The author does call the readers' attention, and an occasional research subject's, to the idea that if they prefer a certain race to the exclusion of all others, then, yes, they are not colorblind, but color conscious on a personal level, to a racist degree, even if they are colorblind about the idea of love, colorblind about interacting in the community, and once in their targeted relationship color, colorblind about their interactions with that person.
When ministers and others such as family and friends advised the IR couples about the challenges they would likely face, the author took issue with this as a negative sign that society was making an issue that might not have been an issue of concern for the respective couples. As with any couples counseling, the understanding is that people want you to be aware not caught off guard or otherwise blindsided by potential opposition. Make sure you are committed. I didn't have an issue with people being advised of potential marital or relationship monkey-wrenches. There were a couple of instances where an IR couple did face actual opposition from clergy, family. One woman's parents came to her wedding, and her mother cried. Not tears of joy that her daughter found someone to love and be loved by, and they'd pledged eternal love by traditional ceremony. The mother should've stayed home. Another woman whose family did not support her with her personal choice of a loved one, did not invite them to the wedding when the two decided to marry.
Very insightful, helping to frame ways that IR couples elect to cope and what methods apparently have helped couples stay together as a unit when dealing with IR topics within and outside their personal space. Methods parallel same-race couples, unified front, like minds going in the same direction. It also parallels the styles of some living and working in segregated spaces. It seemed like the colorblind couples worked in a professional or paraprofessional jobs, and traveled in mostly white circles, if not at home, then at work. And in that knowledge as anyone who does live and work in predom white circles knows, a certain level of colorblind will get you further than color consciousness, if that's what you want. You will be expected to overlook things, and adopt the majority code that things are better, even as you get excluded from living with your IR partner in predom white neighborhoods, etc. I wouldn't necessarily define it as internalizing racism so much as upholding the code of 'guest' conduct in environments where you have little to no power authority, or support to change the status quo. The same could be said in how women manage in predom male environments. It's almost like being bilingually conscious.
At one point the author mentions a personal episode where she felt she should've challenged her doctor about a derogatory remark, but instead the author ignores it. And she felt bad, like she dropped the ball. Her thinking is that in order to truly progress coded instances of racism should be challenged, on the spot, to that person, to hold them accountable, and ..begin to clear the air for honest dialogue, and relationships that develop from the superficial stereotypes or ignoring race problems hoping they'll go away by continuous code talking and denial. This was an ironic piece of information that the author shared in that she did what others in her book had also done. Heard something racist but coded, and chose to ignore it, allowing it to keep its faux finish of being other than what it was. Before someone can address something, it has to be agreed that this is what was said, and what you heard and interpreted is what was meant. If someone is being avoidant, it's basically a stonewall. Code talking allows people to say the codes, and if you are into what they're selling, then you go along to get along, or you don't. The author's doctor was an older woman. In the book, research subjects did say that they factor in someone's age when they're talking out of the side of their neck about race.
Sometimes, the best defense is no defense. If you hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil, then maybe you're not fighting battles all the time. And you're not giving credibility where it's not do. The cliche that, 'I'm not going to dignify that with an answer' is as good as said, when you say nothing. Don't even participate in the codetalking or other charade.
In this regard, the book has much to teach about how IR couples whose relationships do last, have worked, and what individuals and communities are thinking, why, and how they keep the visible and invisible fences up.
Over a decade ago, a white male in his 30s told me his theory about what he was seeing online. He was mostly an average guy with average interests. He'd earned a BA in psychology, but that wasn't his profession. He liked to sit back, smoke, sip some suds, and tell me what he thought about things. Liked to entertain us, sometimes silly nonsense. And when he told me, then his African American wife, what he thought about IR internet porn, I rolled my eyes. He had a theory about IR black-white porn that I laughed off as nonsense, until maybe a couple of years ago when I thought maybe he wasn't full of it. Yeah, it makes sense. It's in the book. It's what most porn's about anyway, fantasy and the 'what if', etc. It's funny how you dismiss something logical because you've got your colorblind goggles on, and can't imagine even when you hear it from someone who presented himself as a rep, to see him as white, a male, telling me of the racism he'd figured out was in the porn, and who was watching it, and why, that I couldn't get my mind around at the time.
In any event, the book does inform the readers of how and where couples met. A fair amount met at work or in the community.
Research author hits a large number of topics, amazing points of perception. Includes addressing perspectives of some African Americans as feeling slighted by biracial, multiracial people who want to have it both ways, even so far as to distance themselves from black people on the Census, yet, still enjoying the privileges
Another interesting thing was not the opposition of black women to white female+black men unions as depleting the 'scarce' supply of available black men, but that black women often accept the couples, their black male relatives in these relationship, the children of the unions, that have excluded them except to the extent that they be used for support. It's almost like the mammy thing. No love for the black woman. And she's gotta be there, supporting the black male. I hadn't thought...Read more›
Click Here to see more reviews about: Navigating Interracial Borders: Black-White Couples and Their Social Worlds
"One of the best books written about interracial relationships to date. . . . Childs offers a sophisticated and insightful analysis of the social and ideological context of black-white interracial relationships." --Heather Dalmage, author of Tripping on the Color Line"A pioneering project that thoroughly analyzes interracial marriage in contemporary America." --Eduardo Bonilla-Silva, author of Racism without Racists: Color-Blind Racism and The Persistence of Racial Inequality in the United StatesIs love color-blind, or at least becoming increasingly so? Today's popular rhetoric and evidence of more interracial couples than ever might suggest that it is. But is it the idea of racially mixed relationships that we are growing to accept or is it the reality? What is the actual experience of individuals in these partnerships as they navigate their way through public spheres and intermingle in small, close-knit communities? In Navigating Interracial Borders, Erica Chito Childs explores the social world of black-white interracial couples and examines the ways that collective attitudes shape private relationships. Drawing on personal accounts, in-depth interviews, focus group responses, and cultural analysis of media sources, she provides compelling evidence that sizable opposition still exists toward black-white unions. Disapproval is merely being expressed in more subtle, color-blind terms. Childs reveals that frequently the same individuals who attest in surveys that they approve of interracial dating will also list various reasons why they and their families wouldn't, shouldn't, and couldn't marry someone of another race. Even college students, who are heralded as racially tolerant and open-minded, do not view interracial couples as acceptable when those partnerships move beyond the point of casual dating. Popular films, Internet images, and pornography also continue to reinforce the idea that sexual relations between blacks and whites are deviant. Well-researched, candidly written, and enriched with personal narratives, Navigating Interracial Boundaries offers important new insights into the still fraught racial hierarchies of contemporary society in the United States. Erica Chito Childs is an assistant professor of sociology at Eastern Connecticut State University.
